"Swirling Cesspool of Our Twenties" Part One

A few weeks back, I wrote an email to a friend and really focused on the fears and the uncertainty of our twenties. I’ve wanted to write on this blog about this very topic---and how it applies to writing--- for quite some time, but I’ve never known where to start, and so, I’ve put it off.

But, things are happening in my life and those close to me that makes it appropriate for me to go ahead and write about it now.

Next to finding that I need to write about this, I’ve also found that I can’t say all I’ve wanted to say about the subject in just five hundred to seven hundred words, which, if you haven’t noticed, is my normal post word count. So, because this post is so dear to me, and because I feel that it is a subject that needs more space, I’ve broken the piece into two parts.

Today, I give you Part One in the form of the very email I sent weeks ago.

Oh, Jack.

After reading your message, there were a few things I had to say. I can see that you’re worried about your future, and, if I may speak frankly as a friend despite our short time of acquaintance, I am telling you to stop worrying.

Of course, it isn’t that easy, but this is our twenties. Our generation was raised differently than any other to date: we were told we could be whatever we wanted to be. Of course, this has little bearing in reality. We can’t all be the next famous pop star, or a ballerina, or the next great America novelist. Well, we can, but it really takes a hell of a lot more work than we were ever told. Now, I’m not claiming that our being told we could amount to anything we strive for was a bad thing, because we have all been given the right to explore what truly makes us happy.

We were raised to shoot for this happiness, and that is really a beautiful thing. Call me a hedonist if you must, but in my modest opinion, living a joyful and pleasurable life to the best of my ability is what matters most. Life is hard and confusing, but overall, I want to be happy in the end. What no one really told us as children, or at least they didn’t tell me, was that our careers and all these pressures for success do not decide our true worth or happiness. We decide for ourselves, not by how we make our money or how much of it we earn, but by who we bring into our lives and how we spend this short time on the planet.

And you know, this is our twenties. We are all lost. It’s OKAY to be unsure. There is a line from a short novel Molly once loaned me and it referred to this time in our lives most poetically, calling this period, “the swirling cesspool of our twenties.” It is funny how true that statement often rings.

Absolutely certainty in the future is a mirage of success. I dare to venture a speculation that no one is really certain of their future. Life doesn’t care whether we make plans or not. Life is random and chaotic, and of course we should push for what we want, but I don’t believe that we should worry when we feel insecure.

Please, don’t let the pulling forces of others dictate your life. I understand how it can be. I had parents who were certain that I was going to be the next president of the United States or a award winning journalist, and when I chose a simpler path—love, babies, books, and pleasure—I do think they were disappointed. I’m sure it was in their best intentions, but we are our own people and we cannot ultimately live for anyone other than ourselves.

            Now, please forgive me if I have missed the mark and am being presumptuous about what you’re going through, but I just wanted to make sure that you know that you are not alone. I simply wanted to give you a little unsolicited advice that has helped me greatly.

Have a wonderful day, Jack.

Sally

Please come back next week for Part Two in which I explain why I shouldn't give advice.

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